I frustrate people. I don't intend to, but the inevitable outcome of anyone attempting to console me is frustration. I often hear things like, "I don't feel like I'm very helpful" or "I just don't know how to help you" or "I want to take this away from you but I can't" And I feel bad. Suddenly, I'm consoling them and adding guilt to my list of woes.
I am tragically complex in my pain and people love me and want desperately to help me but don't know how to weave through every facet and caveat of my persistent misery. They feel helpless and I feel guilty and nobody every walks away from these conversations feeling encouraged.
But I realized something tonight. This same, frustrating, discouraging experience, time and again, has birth in me a level of patience and compassion for the helpers and the helpless that I would never have known had my wounds been easily soothed with simple consolation. Secondly, it has driven me time after time, night after night, to the total sufficiency of Christ Jesus, the God of all comfort, for the only lasting solace I have ever found.
The reason for this is both simple and profound. Jesus is the answer, no matter what the question is. In Jesus and only in Jesus can I find the fullness of everything I could ever need or desire. When I feel hopeless, I find hope in Christ Jesus. When I feel worthless, I find worth in Christ Jesus. When I am in despair, I find joy in Christ Jesus. When I am overcome with anxiety and fear, I find peace in Christ Jesus. When I am in anguish and deep turmoil, I find comfort in Christ Jesus. When I am trapped, I find freedom in Christ Jesus. When I am deceived, I find truth in Christ Jesus. When I am threatened, I find shelter in Christ Jesus. When I am tired, I find rest in Christ Jesus. When I am weak, I find strength in Christ Jesus. When I am empty, I find fulfillment in Christ Jesus. When I am at my lowest, I am sustained by Christ Jesus.When I fail, I find victory in Christ Jesus.
So, dear helper, do not by dismayed by this elaborate mess of a human being in front of you. Take heart, and point me back to Christ. He will do the rest.
1 comment:
Hi Beautiful! First of all, oh man do I understand how you feel... I have been there so many times. Please know that your identity is not "a frustrating person" or "a person who frustrates others". That is a lie from the pit of hell. Please rebuke it aloud. You are not a frustrating person. You have come SO FAR and are just still healing. :) I hope it makes you feel better that you're not at all alone in this. I am struggling with the same feelings and frustrations with myself. Please call me when you get like this. You're not a burden. I love you and it's an encouragement to me when we can be honest with each other and just go to God together. I understand your pain. I want to be here for you. I love you more than I could ever express, sister. Again, you are not a frustration. You are a beautiful child of God who has been through a lot and is healing. You have come so far!!! I'm proud of you and I know Jesus is too! THAT'S truth! :)
~Love always~
Mandy Morrison
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