Praise the Lord in the heavenly places! Praise Him all the earth!
Praise the Lord in the darkness for He has overcome the darkness!
Those spirits speaking lies into my heart are already defeated and damned to hell for eternity!
Hallelujah! Praise His name!
Jesus overcame sin and death and evil and darkness. He has vanquished the enemy to hell forever!
Our Lord Jesus is mighty to save, mighty to deliver, mighty to set the captives free.
I will sing His praises from my heart. I will sing songs of thanks and praise in my work.
I will praise Him with my words and with my works.
I will praise Him with my life.
Praise the Lord, he has delivered me from the chains of evil. By His name I am freed.
The name of Jesus is great and greatly to be praised forever and ever.
I will sing praises to the Lord with song, with tears, with dancing, with laughter, with love, with obedience.
I will worship the Lord forever.
My King, my rock, my deliverer, Jesus Christ, champion of hope, bringer of life, beacon of light in the darkness, Praise to you my King!
May my lips never cease to praise you. May my life be a vibrant testimony of your grace and mercy, your love and kindness, your vastness and sovereignty, your might and power over darkness.
Oh praise the Lord of my salvation! You have saved my soul from hell and delivered my life from the hands of my tormentors.
Praise be to your name, Jesus!
May my eyes never stray from your glory. May my feet never slip from your path.
May I walk in your will in glad submission all the days of my life.
Amen!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
A psalm in the night.
When the sun goes down on the day, it also goes down on my soul
As the light slips from the sky it disappears from my eyes and my heart grows dark
My mind is a battlefield at night and the casualties are many
The smoke and the chaos, confusion and fear, uncertainty and anguish
oppress my spirit, depress my soul and make my heart despondent.
As it is written, My God is with me, whom shall I fear?
My God is for me, of whom shall I be afraid?
I will take courage and wait for the delivering right hand of the Lord.
I will be strong and let my heart take courage.
The enemy seeks to destroy me as I lie in my bed
As I lie down to rest his torment takes hold,
his lies swirl around me like a flock of deranged birds
Swooping and diving and screaming and clawing
until one finds refuge in some unprotected corner of my mind
Confusion sprouts up, doubt takes root and sleep evades me once again.
I cry out to the Lord in my anguish
I cry out in fear
I throw myself on the mercy of a loving God
I seek protection in the shadow of His wings
I look to His promises for asylum from the darkness threatening to engulf me.
I call upon the Lord in my distress.
Only He can rescue me from the consuming flames of evil.
The Lord, my God, is my fortress, my refuge, my stronghold against the devices of the enemy
He will protect. He will defend. He will lift up and establish me.
I will praise my God from the darkness.
I will lift up His holy name in song in the night.
I will speak of his greatness forever.
I will trust in the Lord with all my heart because the Lord my God is trustworthy.
His goodness endures forever. Great is His Faithfulness.
As the light slips from the sky it disappears from my eyes and my heart grows dark
My mind is a battlefield at night and the casualties are many
The smoke and the chaos, confusion and fear, uncertainty and anguish
oppress my spirit, depress my soul and make my heart despondent.
As it is written, My God is with me, whom shall I fear?
My God is for me, of whom shall I be afraid?
I will take courage and wait for the delivering right hand of the Lord.
I will be strong and let my heart take courage.
The enemy seeks to destroy me as I lie in my bed
As I lie down to rest his torment takes hold,
his lies swirl around me like a flock of deranged birds
Swooping and diving and screaming and clawing
until one finds refuge in some unprotected corner of my mind
Confusion sprouts up, doubt takes root and sleep evades me once again.
I cry out to the Lord in my anguish
I cry out in fear
I throw myself on the mercy of a loving God
I seek protection in the shadow of His wings
I look to His promises for asylum from the darkness threatening to engulf me.
I call upon the Lord in my distress.
Only He can rescue me from the consuming flames of evil.
The Lord, my God, is my fortress, my refuge, my stronghold against the devices of the enemy
He will protect. He will defend. He will lift up and establish me.
I will praise my God from the darkness.
I will lift up His holy name in song in the night.
I will speak of his greatness forever.
I will trust in the Lord with all my heart because the Lord my God is trustworthy.
His goodness endures forever. Great is His Faithfulness.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Night watch
The fear that fills you now is the fear that filled you then
The pain you feel is just a remnant of the horror that has been.
Soon the room will cease to spin, your heart will stop its pounding.
Reality will seep back in to secure you in your grounding.
The lights are on, the night will pass in weary, watchful waiting
For the monsters only you can see, for the memories you're hating.
And with a wail you cry to God, "please hear me Lord, please take me!"
"Please lay me down in dust to die, let me sleep and never wake me!"
A groan escapes from deep within, The Spirit calls out, "Daughter!"
"Dry your tears and incline your ears to hear your heavenly Father."
"I hear your pleas, I feel your pain, I'm angered by this injustice
Remember well my goodness, my love, your vengeance is mine, please trust this!
I create beauty from the ashes of a life in ruin and waste.
I will redeem each bitter tear you've cried until sweet freedom you taste"
The pain you feel is just a remnant of the horror that has been.
Soon the room will cease to spin, your heart will stop its pounding.
Reality will seep back in to secure you in your grounding.
The lights are on, the night will pass in weary, watchful waiting
For the monsters only you can see, for the memories you're hating.
And with a wail you cry to God, "please hear me Lord, please take me!"
"Please lay me down in dust to die, let me sleep and never wake me!"
A groan escapes from deep within, The Spirit calls out, "Daughter!"
"Dry your tears and incline your ears to hear your heavenly Father."
"I hear your pleas, I feel your pain, I'm angered by this injustice
Remember well my goodness, my love, your vengeance is mine, please trust this!
I create beauty from the ashes of a life in ruin and waste.
I will redeem each bitter tear you've cried until sweet freedom you taste"
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tiny Tiger
I have a tiny tiger on a chain
Every little bit I lose is a little bit he gains
Right now I can control each move that he makes
But each day he grows the more effort it takes
And someday he'll grow so large his chain will break
My pet tiger will have grown into an out of control beast
Prowling around my feet, looking for a feast
Waiting for the right time to pounce
And devour
What remains of my flesh
How much longer I have is anyone's guess
So I secure my tiger's chain to the foot of Jesus' cross
And for a moment, I shed a few tears for my loss
Then I walk away from him, feeling light and free
Christ's blood destroyed my tiger before my tiger destroyed me.
Every little bit I lose is a little bit he gains
Right now I can control each move that he makes
But each day he grows the more effort it takes
And someday he'll grow so large his chain will break
My pet tiger will have grown into an out of control beast
Prowling around my feet, looking for a feast
Waiting for the right time to pounce
And devour
What remains of my flesh
How much longer I have is anyone's guess
So I secure my tiger's chain to the foot of Jesus' cross
And for a moment, I shed a few tears for my loss
Then I walk away from him, feeling light and free
Christ's blood destroyed my tiger before my tiger destroyed me.
Breaking bones, breaking chains
1/7/13
Growing up in an abusive home means every night, every incident, every betrayal and hurt I experienced resulted in the fracturing of something inside me. Those fractured, left untreated, all healed crooked and bent at odd angles. Like a broken bone left unset and unsplinted, areas of my heart, soul and spirit were permanently crippled. I could still function, but not normally. Things easy for others came at great difficulty for me. My ability to trust, hope, love and live were all fractured, displaced and crippled by abuses experienced so young.
Then God took hold of my heart, and promised to heal all my old fractures and bents toward unbelief, distrust, fear and hopelessness. So began the long, painful process of rebreaking all those bones, setting them into proper alignment with the truth, and holding and stabilizing the fracture until it could heal again, stronger and straighter than before. God promises that if I trust in Him, he will make my paths straight. In my case, he has not only to make my path straight, he also has to rebreak and remake my body, heart and soul capable of walking straight.
This is what is happening to me now. It's painful and difficult and seemingly endless. And even though I know it may take the rest of my natural life to locate, rebreak and heal all those old wounds, I know that there will be an end to this suffering. One day I will be called up to The Lord and made new by His grace. Meanwhile the labor of this life is reminding myself of truth.
The truth that this pain I'm walking in is a healing pain. It is for my good and my joy. It leads to freedom. So I will Praise The Lord for his mighty healing hand, even when the pain is at it's worst. The truth is that God will use the process of this healing to bring Glory to His name and joy to my heart. There is glory in the journey, not just in reaching the destination.
The truth is that the spiritual surgery he is performing on me is done in love and care for me. Cruelty would be to allow me to continue to walk a crooked path in my brokenness. God is good, He loves me and is for me. This process is long and painful, but it's worth it. It's worth it right now, not just when it's over. God leaves no tear wasted, he redeems every single one. Hope in The Lord, and He will deliver you from darkness.
Growing up in an abusive home means every night, every incident, every betrayal and hurt I experienced resulted in the fracturing of something inside me. Those fractured, left untreated, all healed crooked and bent at odd angles. Like a broken bone left unset and unsplinted, areas of my heart, soul and spirit were permanently crippled. I could still function, but not normally. Things easy for others came at great difficulty for me. My ability to trust, hope, love and live were all fractured, displaced and crippled by abuses experienced so young.
Then God took hold of my heart, and promised to heal all my old fractures and bents toward unbelief, distrust, fear and hopelessness. So began the long, painful process of rebreaking all those bones, setting them into proper alignment with the truth, and holding and stabilizing the fracture until it could heal again, stronger and straighter than before. God promises that if I trust in Him, he will make my paths straight. In my case, he has not only to make my path straight, he also has to rebreak and remake my body, heart and soul capable of walking straight.
This is what is happening to me now. It's painful and difficult and seemingly endless. And even though I know it may take the rest of my natural life to locate, rebreak and heal all those old wounds, I know that there will be an end to this suffering. One day I will be called up to The Lord and made new by His grace. Meanwhile the labor of this life is reminding myself of truth.
The truth that this pain I'm walking in is a healing pain. It is for my good and my joy. It leads to freedom. So I will Praise The Lord for his mighty healing hand, even when the pain is at it's worst. The truth is that God will use the process of this healing to bring Glory to His name and joy to my heart. There is glory in the journey, not just in reaching the destination.
The truth is that the spiritual surgery he is performing on me is done in love and care for me. Cruelty would be to allow me to continue to walk a crooked path in my brokenness. God is good, He loves me and is for me. This process is long and painful, but it's worth it. It's worth it right now, not just when it's over. God leaves no tear wasted, he redeems every single one. Hope in The Lord, and He will deliver you from darkness.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Repeat: Pure Joy
I first posted this on Facebook on January 9, 2010. Ran across it tonight and was once again infused with joy. We all need a reminder from time to time.
I really hesitate to tell people why I'm so happy, though I probably shouldn't. Its just that, I know many of my friends have different beliefs and I respect them and I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to convert anyone or anything like that. This isn't the Crusades. But if my joy finds itself infectious, then I won't complain. Because its all about changing lives for the better. Mine has certainly gone that direction. Some may say, pull yourself together girl you sound like a crazy person. But if this is crazy, then cheers to my maddness, long may it flourish!
So, here goes.
I went to church tonight, I've been going more lately. I found a new church called the Village with a terrific pastor who is an amazing speaker. Prior to finding the village, I started going to a bible study in Dallas. I know, random, but I think it was all meant to go down this way. When I was younger, I was religious. I said the right things, but I only believed in God because I was afraid to go to Hell frankly. One of the things I learned tonight was that God wants us to believe in Love, not in Fear. I didn't understand any of this back then. So of course, I became disillusioned with church and God and took a break from it, during which time, my life went to pot. I was desperately unhappy, seeking salvation from one wrong man after another, not wanting to live didn't see the point in it really, just miserable. But then, after I pretty much hit rock bottom, I started going to this bible study and now this church and for the first time in my life, I feel like people are being honest with me, that I'm hearing the truth and I feel like I understand now, all the suffering and pain I've been through and that the world has been through.
So why am I happy? Because God loves me despite everything. All those mistakes I've been beating myself up for all these years, God has forgiven me all of them and the ones I haven't even made yet. Its okay for me to be human and make mistakes. Doesn't mean I don't have to make it right when I can, just means I don't have to hate myself. But tonight, I don't know, I guess I just really FELT loved, really loved, for the first time. And I feel IN love. Jesus died for me, is there no greater love. He takes care of me, He listens to me, even at four in the morning, he understands me, and I LOVE him. I finally feel like it doesn't matter that I'm fat and single and poor. I know a love greater than all others, can I really ask for more? Not in this life. And to know that I will never know a night that does not end in dawn, because God has given me eternal life, and not THIS life, not the painful, tedious, laborious life we lead now, but a perfect heavenly life, full of love and beauty and no pain, no more sorrow, no more tears. Its just overwhelming.
And that is why I am happy. Praise be to Lord Jesus, the author of my Joy!!
I really hesitate to tell people why I'm so happy, though I probably shouldn't. Its just that, I know many of my friends have different beliefs and I respect them and I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to convert anyone or anything like that. This isn't the Crusades. But if my joy finds itself infectious, then I won't complain. Because its all about changing lives for the better. Mine has certainly gone that direction. Some may say, pull yourself together girl you sound like a crazy person. But if this is crazy, then cheers to my maddness, long may it flourish!
So, here goes.
I went to church tonight, I've been going more lately. I found a new church called the Village with a terrific pastor who is an amazing speaker. Prior to finding the village, I started going to a bible study in Dallas. I know, random, but I think it was all meant to go down this way. When I was younger, I was religious. I said the right things, but I only believed in God because I was afraid to go to Hell frankly. One of the things I learned tonight was that God wants us to believe in Love, not in Fear. I didn't understand any of this back then. So of course, I became disillusioned with church and God and took a break from it, during which time, my life went to pot. I was desperately unhappy, seeking salvation from one wrong man after another, not wanting to live didn't see the point in it really, just miserable. But then, after I pretty much hit rock bottom, I started going to this bible study and now this church and for the first time in my life, I feel like people are being honest with me, that I'm hearing the truth and I feel like I understand now, all the suffering and pain I've been through and that the world has been through.
So why am I happy? Because God loves me despite everything. All those mistakes I've been beating myself up for all these years, God has forgiven me all of them and the ones I haven't even made yet. Its okay for me to be human and make mistakes. Doesn't mean I don't have to make it right when I can, just means I don't have to hate myself. But tonight, I don't know, I guess I just really FELT loved, really loved, for the first time. And I feel IN love. Jesus died for me, is there no greater love. He takes care of me, He listens to me, even at four in the morning, he understands me, and I LOVE him. I finally feel like it doesn't matter that I'm fat and single and poor. I know a love greater than all others, can I really ask for more? Not in this life. And to know that I will never know a night that does not end in dawn, because God has given me eternal life, and not THIS life, not the painful, tedious, laborious life we lead now, but a perfect heavenly life, full of love and beauty and no pain, no more sorrow, no more tears. Its just overwhelming.
And that is why I am happy. Praise be to Lord Jesus, the author of my Joy!!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
What I've been missing.
Today was a spiritual battle royal. Evil was doing everything in its power to keep me from hearing the Lords word preached today, they pulled out all the punches, but the Lord prevailed.
I used to think it was the person doing the speaking that was so brilliantly able to reach my soul. Now I know it is the Holy Ghost himself speaking through his vessels, us, to reach his beloved, also us. He can and does use anyone, even non-believers sometimes, to stir our hearts, encourage our spirit, or rebuke our sinfulness.
The thing that really hit home today that was missing from my church experience growing up is this simple fact. Christians suffer too. Believing in the Lord Jesus Christ does not somehow absolve us from the effects of living in a sinful world, i.e suffering. In fact, just the opposite. God practically guarantees we will suffer, and sometimes suffer greatly during out time on earth. But God in his infinite goodness and grace, sent his son to suffer for us, so that our suffering might be limited to this time on earth. What the gospel also guarantees is an eternity of peace in heaven together with God, where this life won't even be remembered, where there will be no crying, no pain, nothing but full, unfathomable joy.
I never heard this growing up. Not saying it wasn't necessarily preached at some point, but I never heard it, grapsed it, understood it. The idea that I got from church in my youth is that Christians didn't suffer, struggle, or falter, unless they were doing something wrong. Any pain in life was a result of sin and a lack of right standing with God. It was to be dealt with alone in prayer, and once you had cleaned yourself up and fixed it with the Lord, you could come back and worship with the body in church. It was what I now know to be the lie of the prosperity gospel. The idea that God loves you and wants you to be happy 'in this life'. God does love us, so much that he sent his son to die a painful death on a cross to secure our eternal joy! But he saved us for a purpose, to be a light in the darkness of a sinful world. Something he guarantees will not be easy or readily accepted. But the reward of that work is immeasurably glorious....your soul together in heaven with Christ for an eternity, along with the souls of the lives you touched here on earth, as you suffered well for the cause of furthering the Kingdom of the Lord.
So suffer. Struggle! Be open about it! Don't hide it in the dark and pretend. What matters is not that you struggle, but how you struggle. How you handle suffering can be a beacon of hope to others who are also suffering, but without the benefit of a savior. You aren't doing anyone any favors by pretending you are Christian and therefore have no problems! You are a Christian and you have problems and Praise GOD for providing us with the ultimate solution to every worldly problem or pain.
So I will go first. I'm struggling. I struggle every day. I have to come before the Lord on my knees daily, several times a day to confess my sin, my fears, my hurts, and ask his forgiveness, comfort and healing...which he always, always provides abundantly. I'm not perfect and never will be as long as I'm living in this body, in this world. Sometimes that makes me want to leave this world. I want to hasten my return to Christs arms in a tangible way. I struggle with this in many ways. I think I've got it under control and it crops back up someplace else, disguised as something else. Pray for me, that I would find joy in this life in living my life for Christ every day. He has called me to something greater, he has a purpose for my life here, and it is not for me to decide when it ends. Pray that my faith would be stronger than the evil that surrounds me a provokes me to self destruction. Fellow believers, hold me accountable. Don't let me hide in plain sight. And Lord, I pray that I might be an encouragement to others who also struggle, that I would struggle well, in full view of my biblical community and in the light of the cross.
I used to think it was the person doing the speaking that was so brilliantly able to reach my soul. Now I know it is the Holy Ghost himself speaking through his vessels, us, to reach his beloved, also us. He can and does use anyone, even non-believers sometimes, to stir our hearts, encourage our spirit, or rebuke our sinfulness.
The thing that really hit home today that was missing from my church experience growing up is this simple fact. Christians suffer too. Believing in the Lord Jesus Christ does not somehow absolve us from the effects of living in a sinful world, i.e suffering. In fact, just the opposite. God practically guarantees we will suffer, and sometimes suffer greatly during out time on earth. But God in his infinite goodness and grace, sent his son to suffer for us, so that our suffering might be limited to this time on earth. What the gospel also guarantees is an eternity of peace in heaven together with God, where this life won't even be remembered, where there will be no crying, no pain, nothing but full, unfathomable joy.
I never heard this growing up. Not saying it wasn't necessarily preached at some point, but I never heard it, grapsed it, understood it. The idea that I got from church in my youth is that Christians didn't suffer, struggle, or falter, unless they were doing something wrong. Any pain in life was a result of sin and a lack of right standing with God. It was to be dealt with alone in prayer, and once you had cleaned yourself up and fixed it with the Lord, you could come back and worship with the body in church. It was what I now know to be the lie of the prosperity gospel. The idea that God loves you and wants you to be happy 'in this life'. God does love us, so much that he sent his son to die a painful death on a cross to secure our eternal joy! But he saved us for a purpose, to be a light in the darkness of a sinful world. Something he guarantees will not be easy or readily accepted. But the reward of that work is immeasurably glorious....your soul together in heaven with Christ for an eternity, along with the souls of the lives you touched here on earth, as you suffered well for the cause of furthering the Kingdom of the Lord.
So suffer. Struggle! Be open about it! Don't hide it in the dark and pretend. What matters is not that you struggle, but how you struggle. How you handle suffering can be a beacon of hope to others who are also suffering, but without the benefit of a savior. You aren't doing anyone any favors by pretending you are Christian and therefore have no problems! You are a Christian and you have problems and Praise GOD for providing us with the ultimate solution to every worldly problem or pain.
So I will go first. I'm struggling. I struggle every day. I have to come before the Lord on my knees daily, several times a day to confess my sin, my fears, my hurts, and ask his forgiveness, comfort and healing...which he always, always provides abundantly. I'm not perfect and never will be as long as I'm living in this body, in this world. Sometimes that makes me want to leave this world. I want to hasten my return to Christs arms in a tangible way. I struggle with this in many ways. I think I've got it under control and it crops back up someplace else, disguised as something else. Pray for me, that I would find joy in this life in living my life for Christ every day. He has called me to something greater, he has a purpose for my life here, and it is not for me to decide when it ends. Pray that my faith would be stronger than the evil that surrounds me a provokes me to self destruction. Fellow believers, hold me accountable. Don't let me hide in plain sight. And Lord, I pray that I might be an encouragement to others who also struggle, that I would struggle well, in full view of my biblical community and in the light of the cross.