Originally Posted 4/2012 "Living for Him"

I used to think God was punishing me in life by putting me into situations and places where most people in these same circumstances would feel justified in their unhappiness. In reading in Galatians, and in Tullian Tchividjian’s book, "Jesus + Nothing = Everything, I’ve come to realize that this is really God’s mercy.

Its God’s mercy that I don’t live for the things of this world. There is no relationship, no person, no position, no wealth or power that is holding me here. I can freely and truly say that I am living only for the glory of God, and I can only say that because I do have nothing else.

God knows me. he knows my heart will quickly make an idol of anything that brings me happiness in this moment, or in this life. God knows that I am lazy and a quitter. If I see something that I perceive will make me happy, safe and content NOW, that’s what I will go for. My wicked heart with betray the Lord every time. Indeed, it always has.

But in His mercy, God has stripped all of that away, so that I can lean on NOTHING outside of HIM! Praise God! He could have let me go to pursue the empty joys of this life and chase the wind to the end of my days only to end up alone and in darkness apart from him.

But God said no. He would not give me over to the short sighted and ignorant desires of my heart. He has something better for me. He’s saving me for it. Slowly he is replacing a desire to be with Him because it means a release from this world of unhappy circumstances with a desire to serve him here and now, to further his kingdom on earth, to walk in obedience in love so that I can know the joy of the fullness of Him, now and forever.

Do I lose sight of this promise? Every 3 minutes. Literally. You can cook an egg to my fickle-heart. I take my eyes off of Jesus and I get lost. Jesus! Jesus! Bill Collector! then Jesus! Jesus! Illness! Jesus! Jesus! Depression. Jesus! Jesus! Broken Appliances. Jesus! Jesus! Loneliness! I’m like a gold fish with my ability to remember Gospel peace, grace and promise. But there is still more Grace! He brings me back to him with gentle compassion and understanding, every 3 minutes. He is gentle and loving, even in his discipline. His loving kindness is evidence in him revealing all of this to me.

What mercy! Sometimes I despair of life and want to be with Him. Sometimes I despair in life, but find joy in the closeness this brings me to Him. Today, I am just thankful.