Year of Blessings

Someone I was talking to earlier this week made the remark that "31 has been a bad year for you, hasn't it"
I suppose the answer is, in some ways, yes, but overall, no.

Yes, I spent my 31st birthday in a mental hospital after a suicide attempt. Yes, I attempted and nearly succeeded again just 5 months later. More hospital stays and medical debt. Yes, I had to separate myself from my family of origin. Yes, my self destructive behaviors have destroyed close friendships, and the trust I had built with others. And yes, I now have a tumor in my throat cutting off my airway that I desperately need to have removed but can't possibly afford. But in all this and through all this, I have been immeasurably blessed by the goodness of The Lord.

Where there was deep despair and depression, I now have a new hope in Jesus. Where there has been loneliness and isolation I have found community with friends and church family who have loved me with an enduring, unconditional love. Where I have only ever known oppression and defeat, I have seen victory over sin and darkness. Where anxiety threatens to tear me apart, I have a peace that surpasses understanding. When things seem hopeless or impossible, I find myself filled with inexplicable joy. When I was hungry, I was granted bread. When I was homeless, I was given shelter. If I lacked for anything, I had only to cry out to God and my needs were met and exceeded. When I felt useless, I was granted a purpose in the building of the Kingdom of God. At every insurmountable roadblock I have encountered, my God has been faithful to deliver me and sustain me through it all. Where I did not know and trust The Lord, I am now intimately familiar with His ways, and trusting in His plan for my life with open hands and an open heart.

Yes, I am tremendously blessed by the Lord in this, my 31st year of life. And whether this year of trials ends when I turn 32, or continues another year, another decade, or until God calls me  home to glory, I will continue to sing the praises of the One who delivers, sustains and upholds me with His mighty right hand.